Helen and Nikki: Rewrites of scenes from S1 E5
by SQSarah12
Summary: Since there isn't any helen and nikki scenes in episode 4 i skipped straight to eppy 5; this is where it begins to get interesting.


**Series 1 Episode 5**

The TV, newspapers and radio were all covering the suicide of Rachel much to Helen's dismay. This looked bad for the prison, the officers and her. She knew that the blame would fall on her head for not helping Rachel as she should have but if Rachel had been more cooperative she may have been able to help her. She had a meeting with Rachel's mother, who wanted answers Helen couldn't gove her, much to Helen's feelings about the situation. After that her day would not get any better when she was told Nikki had attacked Shell Dockley after she made a tasteless joke about Rachel's suicide.

**(Scene 1)**

"**Come" **Nikki enters the governor's office; this wouldn't be the last time she would be up here because of her temper or her actions

"**Suicide now? That what you call changing things for the better Miss?" **Helen decided to ignore Nikki's derogatory comment and help the struggling inmate to cope with the anger she had bottled up inside over Trish's infidelity.

"**Sit down and listen" **Nikki sighs and ignores Helen's request; it was going to be like that was it. Helen knew that being firm was the only answer right now to Nikki's attitude **"I said sit down!" **Nikki sits at Helen's more forceful request **"I'm not having this Nikki. You're not going to undermine the good order of this wing" **Good order that was a laugh and Nikki knew it. If it hadn't been for Dockley and Fenner Rachel Hicks would still be alive; it wasn't her that was undermining the order of the wing it was them two but no matter how much Nikki wanted to say that; she couldn't

"**So, transfer me, put me on report, do what you like. I don't give a shit"** Helen was getting tired of Nikki's stubbornness and her acting all macho; it was like a broken record

"**Oh, when are you going to grow up and stop all this macho crap! Why did you attack Michelle Dockley?" **Nikki's walls were the only thing she had left to stop herself having a mental and physical breakdown, it was clear Helen didn't understand that they were the only thing holding Nikki together

"**I don't know, touch of PMT"** Nikki stands up to leave riling Helen up even more; she was not going to walk away from the situation that easily, not anymore

"**Sit in that chair!" **Nikki sighs and sits back down. The forceful side of Helen was attractive in Nikki's eyes; she had never seen the wing governor wound up this tight before; it was a turn on much to Nikki's dismay.

"**Don't you wish it was electric?" **Helen takes a deep breath before continuing; she was not going to fly off the handle because Nikki was being difficult for difficult sake.

"**The only option you leave me is to get you transferred"** Helen didn't want to do it but if there no other way. It scared Helen to think that she wouldn't see Nikki every day, not be able to look across and see Nikki watching her. Helen couldn't let on to Nikki about how she was feeling. There was no way they could have a relationship, it would be impossible.

"**Send me where you like" **Helen knew if they were to have a relationship and anyone found out she would be sacked, Nikki would almost likely to be transferred and she would be facing criminal charges but that didn't deter her from the idea of having a secret relationship and the excitement that would surround that kind of relationship

"**Is that what you want? To be moved far away from Trisha" **The mention of her ex's name made bile rise up in Nikki's throat. She was still so angry with her, so hurt

"**I don't give a toss about Trisha. She was getting on my tits so I chucked her" **Helen already knew this but couldn't help be curious about Nikki's former relationship. Helen had gay friends she knew that they had all had long-time relationships some of them were even married.

"**Was it; was it a long term thing?"**

"**Nine years" **Nine years? That was a long time but then again being separated for two years knowing that it could be another ten years before they could be together. That was another thing that was bugging Helen if she and Nikki were to enter into a relationship how would she cope knowing that it could be another ten years before they could be together on the outside; would Helen still be at Larkhall in ten years, the ways thing were right now, it was very unlikely; could she cope not seeing Nikki every day?

"**Nine, it's a long time" **Nikki didn't know if Helen was being sincere or was actually feeling sadness over the situation

"**Oh spare me your sympathy, will you? You probably don't think it's for real 'cause we're dykes" **Step too far in Helen's book. She had been there when things go south in a relationship; its unpleasant and she had lost count of how many times she had had to comfort her friends over their broken relationships

"**Oh why don't you just shut… just shut up!" **Nikki wasn't expecting such a display of anger from Helen; it was then she realised Helen must have had experiences with same sex couples breaking up and immediately regretted her words. Nikki gives Helen a full account of what happened and Helen begins to understand why Nikki flew off the handle; she would have probably done the same understand the circumstances. **"Isn't this usually how it goes? You break the rules, you're thrown in segregation and you come out more bitter and twisted then when you went in. And then it just happens all over again"** Nikki allowed Helen's words to hit home; she as being a royal pain in the ass and stubborn as a mule when she should be letting people help her and she should be helping others just as Helen has been trying to tell her

"**Yeah that's about right. So hurry up and get on with it, how many days do I get this time" **Helen couldn't believe Nikki was still being so stubborn; in a way she reminded Helen of herself in her early university days

"**Oh you just love playing the martyr don't you Nikki? I'm not sending you to the block. I'm giving you a warning" **Nikki was overwhelmed with Helen's actions; with everything that had happened between them she was still willing to give her a chance

"**A warning; is that it?" **Helen knew she had finally cracked through Nikki's walls; she was relieved beyond reason

"**I'm sticking my neck out here Nikki, I don't know why but I am" **Before either women could get to grips with what happened they found themselves leaning towards each other. Helen couldn't believe what was happening there was something in Nikki's eyes that shook her. Nikki suddenly jerks away and swallows the lump that had formed in her throat

"**Can I go now? Please" **Helen pulls back and nods; she had been so close to breaking her own rules

"**Yes" **With that Nikki jumps up and leaves; Helen was happy she had finally broken down the inmate's walls but at the same time overwhelmed with the fact she had nearly kissed her.

Nikki was shaken by the events that had just occurred; had her wing governor nearly kissed her? What about her boyfriend? Was it over between them? Or had Helen just acted on impulse? Whatever the reason Nikki felt her feelings for the young Scot grow stronger.

**(Scene 2)**

After her meetings with Denny, Helen decided to look into the accusations of Jim Fenner having sexual relations with Rachel and him having something to do with her death and she knew the only person who would be completely honest with her. Nikki. She goes out into the gardens to look for her and finds her pruning the rose bushes

"**Hi"** Nikki was surprised to see Helen after the near kiss in her office and thinks that was why Helen was out here

"**Hi how're you feeling" **Then again maybe she wasn't; maybe she wanted information which wouldn't come as a shock

"**So so" **All Helen wanted to do in that moment was to take Nikki in her arms and tell that everything would be fine and that she would meet someone who would love her completely and not be scared by the fact she was behind bars and could be for a long time but she had to restrain herself and get the answers she came looking for

"**Nikki can I speak to you in strict confidence about something" **Nikki knew this had to serious for Helen to use the phrase strict confidence and there was only one subject that fell in to that category in that moment in time, it had to be about Rachel.

"**Sure"** Helen was happy to have Nikki as a confidante; she knew that Nikki would never betray her trust even if that theory was yet to be proven

"**It's about Mr Fenner. You once said that he had a fan club can you elaborate on that" **So it was about Rachel in so many words. Denny had obviously cracked and told Helen about Rachel's relationship with Fenner and Shell's jealousy to boot

"**What do you mean?" **

"**Well what form this fan club took for instance, it seemed an unusual thing to say"** Nikki knew Helen was fishing for dirt on Fenner in order to help understand why Rachel killed herself

"**You asking me to be a grass?" **Wrong choice of words at the wrong moment; the old Nikki was back

"**Nikki a young girl hanged herself, now I promised Rachel's family I'd investigate her death; I did expect a bit more cooperation from her friends" **Helen walks away from Nikki, who sighs and realises that it was for the best Helen knew the truth

"**I can't prove anything" **Helen stops, turns and walks back to Nikki **"And I'm not naming any other names but I did warn Rachel off Fenner. Thought he was taking advantage" **Nikki and Helen share a determined look before Helen's face turned to thunder. She was going to kill him.

Helen and Nikki had made big strides in their relationship and know with Nikki onside Helen knew she could easily win the other prisoners over in no time that's' if Fenner and Sylvia would let her. It wasn't going to be easy but she always loved a good challenge.


End file.
